SIX CORE NEEDS
According to THE world leading Personal Development Coach Anthony Robbins, all humans are motivated by the need to fulfil Six Core Needs. These needs are not merely wants or desires but profound needs. They form the basis of every choice we make. These needs never stop driving us and they won’t ever become irrelevant.
By learning and understanding what drives us on a daily basis, we can have a better understanding of why we do the things we do, especially those things we do that may be harmful (physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually). With greater understanding of our Six Core Needs, we can begin to determine how to get to where we want to BE in our lives. All people are influenced and motivated by the order of importance they place the Six Core Needs.
On a daily basis we fulfil these needs in some way. However, this may not always be exhibited in a constructive or resourceful way. Therefore it is the way in which these needs are met that determine the quality of life we live, and hence our level of happiness.
The wonderful thing is, there are many ways in which the un-resourceful methods of behaving, can be replaced by resourceful and sustainable ones.
What are these Six Core Human Needs then?
For you to feel happy and fulfilled in the long term, these needs must be met consistently in a way that serves you resourcefully and positively.
The first 4 needs, are needs of the PERSONALITY, the last two, are the needs of the SOUL.
Identify the two needs that resonate with you the most, and you'll find most of your behaviours, stem from trying to satisfy these needs. The question to ask yourself is... do I satisfy my needs resourcefully or not?
This first core need is about achieving order & control in life. The knowledge that we can have comfort and feel pleasure. Its primary function is to give the feeling of security. It is manifested through feeling safe and having physical comfort.
Un-resourceful examples: Controlling others. Watching hours of TV or playing interactive games instead of interacting in real life (not getting out of your comfort zone, for fear of the unknown). Comfort eating. The need for CERTAINTY may be exhibited by a person who stays in a relationship or career they are not happy in.
Resourceful examples: Trusting yourself or certainty of self, ie ‘backing yourself’ in a circumstance or situation – Maintaining routines that are supportive and nurturing. (As there are no certainties in life external to oneself, the only certainty must be how you chose to step up/turn up etc.
Variety is a need that encourages the new and the unknown. Most people need some level of variety in their lives. This need for variety can come in the form of a physical, emotional, mental or spiritual need.
Choosing to do overwhelm patterns. Taking drugs. Consuming alcohol for intoxication. Self sabotaging, creating drama and problems for ourselves so there is something to do.
Taking part in new hobbies. Challenging oneself with new activities, creativity and learning; sporting endeavours; learning a language; holiday…. Etc.
People need to feel important, special, wanted and needed. For this to be satisfied, people will find ways to achieve this, through healthy or unhealthy ways.
This could show up in the form of, putting others down, promiscuity, gossiping, relating sad stories about ones self, being a martyr, being a victim, lying in a way that is detectable, and rebellion.
Leader of ones self and others, doing volunteer work, speaking up about an issue or belief, achieving a goal, mastery in our field of work/play.
It is a human need to feel love and connection, in the absence of love, people will seek connection. Everyone needs connection with other human beings.
Someone might be emotionally needy. They may self-harm or threaten to self-harm. People may be ‘rescuers’ in relationships. Relationships may be emotionally abusive, they can be violent. People may attempt to connect through their problems, for example drug taking.
Relationships of a sharing, supportive, genuine and nurturing nature.
This core need, drives people to learn and acquire knowledge, maturity, wisdom and personal evolution.
Finally, there is Contribution. This is seen in people’s desire to serve others. This may be evidenced in the form of charity, caring for the environment, a career of service.
After reading through this explanation of the Six Core Needs, you may notice what needs are more prevalent in you, which ones are more important?
What are you realising about the un-resourceful strategies you run to achieve your core needs?
What does 'doing' these un-resourceful strategies give you?
What could you do to flip your un-resourceful strategy, and change it to a behaviour that is beneficial to you and those around you?
These un-resourceful behaviours are not so much a mystery, but a response that you decided you needed, to fulfil your core needs.
You need not continue on your loop of emotional turmoil, wondering why you do what you do.
By learning what core needs are most important to you, and fulfilling them in a healthy resourceful way, you can achieve peace and happiness.